I've been bothered by attitudes and responses to cliques of a few moms recently. (Sorry for being so cryptic, and fyi this does not have to do with India and her friends..................yet). How can one not even notice the existence of a clique? Why would you blame the person being left out? Why do cliques even exist? Why do people, especially adults, get so defensive about the existence (or non-existence) of cliques?
As I've studied, I haven't gotten any answers. The answers I wanted aren't important. While judging the people who make me crazy and trying to figure out a way to be more charitable myself, I was reminded of my own experience of excluding someone. Here's the scripture story that revived this memory from Luke 10:25-29.
Lawyer: Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
Jesus: What is written in the law? How readest thou?
Lawyer: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
Christ: Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
Layer (But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus): And who is my neighbour?
Next follows the story of the Good Samaritan. In summary, a Jewish traveler is attacked, stripped, wounded, and left for dead by thieves. Two men, a priest and a Levite, pass the man on the other side of the road. However, the third man, a Samaritan and political enemy of the Jews, finally offers help and compassion. He helps clean the wounds, puts the man on his beast, takes him to an inn and continues to take care of him. When he leaves the next day, he pays the innkeeper to continue to care for the man for as long as needed.
Sad story. When I was in high school, a family moved in to the Statue of Liberty house probably two or three years after I moved to Centerville. They had two daughters, one my age and another one a year younger.
I think I had them over to hang out one or two times. We didn't run in the same social circles. I was absorbed in my busy schedule and extracurricular activities. Maybe we had small talk during church or Young Women activities, but I don't remember even having a single meaningful conversation with them. Not on the bus, not at any sporting events or dances, not at school. We didn't have classes together, but I didn't hang out with them at lunch. Maybe we didn't even have the same lunch, but that's not the point. I unintentionally left them on the "other side of the road."
I heard their lives didn't turn out so well. Did you know the priest and the Levite also had an excuse? But like all of my previous excuses, it was lame. I hold myself accountable for not being a friend or true neighbor when they needed one. Ammon pointed out though the priest and Levite did not make the right choice, they still did a lot of good things. They were on their way from Jerusalem to Jericho, which suggests they were returning from performing their duties at the temple. I always thought of myself as a good person, especially when it came to being inclusive. But this time I wasn't when it really mattered. It makes me sad.
I remember being the new girl and being lonely. (I remember not being the new girl and still being lonely at times - haven't we all?) I never want anyone to experience that if I can help it. I had three especially supportive friends during junior high and high school: Kimberly, Marylee, and Nikki. They were there during the happy and crappy, and I'm so grateful they reached out to me.
Who knows what injuries - physical, emotional, or just human weakness - another person has. We don't need to know per say, but we do need to notice, and then do something about it.