Collin & Maddie's Wedding

More Sass

India gave four-week-old Wesley a check up. She pronounced Wesley to be eight months tall and weigh one hour since he sleeps so much.

India: "Mom, you're embarrassing me." (In response to my singing "Imabe." Seems like I've been hearing that response from India waaaaaay too much.)

India: "I look like a chicken." Daily battle of the socks and tights.

India, Maya, and friend Ellie were flipping through a puppy coloring book pointing out which puppies they were going to be. Ellie turned to a page and said, "Hey, that looks like your dog!" India replied, "My dog would never be that ugly. That one can be Maya." (Can I smack her?)

India to Maya before bathtime: "My boobs are bigger than your boobs." (Can I smack her now?)

Ammon asked India to help him cook dinner.
India: "I don't have to cook because I'm going to be a mom when I grow up." (I hang my head in shame). So now when nobody wants to do anything we say, "I don't have to do ____________ because I'm going to be a mom when I grow up."

Monday Dalliances

India and Ellie made their tricycles into parade floats.

  On the way home, India pretended to swing from tree vines and Maya was a t-rex dinosaur.

Yipes

Good thing I finally read the mail.

India's Back to School Night is this week.

Ammon and I are freaking out.

Ouch

 While India was out drawing with chalk, she was stung by a bee.  

Her arm still looks skinny, so I'm guessing she's not allergic.

After Ammon put on magic spray, India went back outside and drew a picture of the bee, a flower, and a girl.  She does not like being mistaken for a flower.

Sick of Being Sick

I have had tonsillitis since last Thursday.  I have lost my voice and am super cranky.  Apparently, ripping out a pool does not make one get any better any faster.  Ammon has banished me from everything but napping. I should be ecstatic, right?  Yet somehow the satisfaction of wasting time is not so satisfying when it's been mandated. So my poor hubbie, poor girls, poor doggie,  poor house, and poor yard have been severely neglected.  So far only the flowers have died.

Casualties

Maya attempted open-heart surgery with her fingernail on India while Ammon and I were on a date watching Rise of the Planet Apes (which surprisingly I enjoyed more than I thought I would).  The girls are obsessed with the original Planet of the Apes and ask to watch it every day.

Karma counterattacked Maya a few days prior to the 6 1/2 inch scratch to India. Maya's nursery friend, London, bit her between the eyes while I was visiting teaching her mother.  I surmise that life is fair.

Demolition Day 2

I thought revving a drill was fun yesterday - not so much today.  Thanks to these guys, Ryan and Ammon, for doing the hardcore stuff today: ripping out the liner, metal rigging, posts, etc.

 See the slide in the background?

Damage control expert.

 No more slide.

 Former deep end of the pool.  I believe there is an alligator living there. 

Demolition Day 1

We're taking out the pool, which is actually turning out to be not as hard as I thought it'd be. We got quite a bit of the railing off. Josie and I (aka amazon women) did this with no man help! There's something a bit therapeutic with drilling and destroying things.

Seriously?

 The following happened the same day.

Me (watching Maya play with board games on the floor of the hallway):  Maya, I'm so happy to see you having fun by yourself!
Maya:  Leave me alone, Mom.

and

Me: Enter room dancing to "Move It, Move It" on Madagascar II while India and Maya are lounging.
India:  Mom can you please stop?  You're kind of embarrassing me.
Me (offended): I am going to do the crazy dance EVERY time your friends come over now.  I am going to do the crazy dance for  your kindergarten class and teacher next year too.

And then some past funnies:

Setting: Indoor rec center pool. We basically have the facilities to ourselves.  After the one-hundredth time Maya has gone down the slide, she notices the cute, tan, shirtless lifeguard that replaced the female lifeguard.
Maya (pointing):  That a boy.  Prince for me.
Me:  Flabbergasted that a two-year-old could be so boy crazy.  Desperately hoping cute boy lifeguard cannot understand her.


Setting:  Our neighbors have a flat stone at the top of their garden that reads, "He who plants here plants happiness."  
India:  Is somebody buried here?

Setting:  Church.  
Ammon whispering to Maya:  How many grandpas are there?
Maya: Two, three, six, seven, eight, nine, sixteen.
Ammon:  How many grandmas are there?
Maya: Two, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
Maya (pointing to older ladies in the choir): One, two witches.
Ammon and Erin: Wickedly laughing and taking mental note not to dye hair too dark in the future.


Ammon to me:  Thanks a lot for your help last night.
Me: Huh?  What was going on?
Ammon:  These girls are pissing me off.  They were up all night.  Maya was sleep walking and crying because she was confused, and India kept waking me up by coming in to see if she could sleep with us.
Girls - you may NOT sleep in Daddy's bed.
India:  But I love Mommy.  And I love you.
Ammon: I love you too, but not in my bed. If you come in my bed again, I'm going to put your beds in the dumpster.
India and Maya:  wailing.
Erin: laughing hysterically because I have regained the ability to sleep through everything.