So, I've decided to go against my better judgment and get all personal on ya'll. Not 'cause I really want to (‘cause I don't) or because everyone else is doing it (which they are), but because honestly I can't think of another topic better to write about. If that all doesn't make sense to all of you all. I'm about to go against one of the things I hate the most and make a list. A personal inventory/self reflexion of my self toward myself by myself ... self. I'm going to do seven of them. That is, I'm writing seven things I like, dislike and things like that ... like. No I'm not writing seven of each. I'm writing seven total -- wise acres. I think seven total is more than sufficient for all those nosy people who want to know all this stuff about me, but don't have the gumption to call me on the phone and ask me. 'Cause that would be weird. It's not like someone would ever call and say "Ammon? So what's your favorite, oh I don't know, brand of latex paint?" Somehow though, if I write it in my blog people will say to themselves "I didn't know that about him, and now that he says it, I'm glad that I do." Well anyway... here goes.
1. Lists.
I really don't like lists. Well, not all lists. Just lists of favorite things. I don't really have favorites of things. When someone asks me what my favorite something is, I start to feel bad thinking somehow I ought to have one, and why don't I?, and I think that somehow I'm not as good a person because I haven't thought of how important it is to have a favorite of that type of thing, and even worse is that I don't know that many types of that particular type of thing to really make an educated decision on the matter, so I just pick the first one that I can think of and then the look on their face suggests that I ought to have considered my options better, but I thought that I had, and then I think that those people don't want to be my friend anymore, and that's not good, so I really wish people didn't ask me things like what's my favorite. So, in other words I really don't understand the supposed need people have of rank ordering every aspect of their life. I have things I like and things I don't like. Sure. I don't though order those lists. I don't have a singular favorite of most things.
2. Books.
I really like many books. I am often asked what my favorite book is. I should probably get used to the question. It seems like the two questions people ask when the find out I teach English are 1. What is your favorite book? and 2. I hate grammar. The second isn't really a question, but they say it as if it was and they expect me to side with them. Anyway, usually I tell them the same thing I'm going to write here. There are many books that I would say are my favorite. Well, that really defeats the purpose of favorite now doesn't it? I'll list some of my favorites now.
· The Sun Also Rises, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Great Gatsby, Death of a Salesman (yes I know it's a play), The Grapes of Wrath, Their Eyes are Watching God, Things Fall Apart. I'll stop there since this list has a theme of seven. 
3. Transportation.
My dream is to one day convince Erin to let me get a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Once I have procured that, I will then begin trying to get a Corvette. Owning and driving both is part of my twenty year plan. Well I think that the Harley might come at around year ten (that leaves me six years on that one). The Corvette perhaps around year 20. If I can’t dream that one day I’ll drive a Corvette, what’s the point? I might as well just die now.
4. Dream Jobs.
There are a few jobs that I would choose if I had no other factors to consider than the merits of that particular job alone. That is, if I didn’t have things like wife, child, responsibility, morals, laws, and health to bog my
decisions down.
· Pirate
· Chef/ Restaurant owner
· Meteorologist/extreme weather chaser
· National Geographic photographer
· Mob boss
So, obviously the above list of things that influenced my selection of career won out in the end. Yep, I teach English.
5. Time Wasting.
I can't decide whether this is one that I like or not. Well, let me explain. Right now, I'm sitting at work with a pile -- actually, that's not true -- several piles of work I should be doing. I'm not doing it though. I'm blogging. Is it a waste of time? I don't think so. It might be a misappropriation of time. So, instead of doing the work (I'm not doing it 'cause my mind is numb) I'm doing other "work" that I like better. I'll get the work done on Saturday. That's what I always say to myself. Really, I've come to accept that work doesn't ever get done. Piles get finished only to start new piles. I guess I just find a comfortable level of drownedness. Is that a word? And to get through it, I interject things like blogging and answering emails and reading the news. Is it time wasting or break taking? If it is called time wasting, I'm strictly opposed. If it is break taking, I'm whole heartedly in favor of it.
6. Silly News
Is it wrong to read the news hoping to laugh? I'm sure that for the people involved in the stories I find hilarious, the story isn't that funny. Should I get pleasure and entertainment out of human suffering? I feel like the answer should be no. Well, I guess I need to explain. I don't look at natural catastrophes and laugh at people dying. That is wrong. However, when I read a story http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,298419,00.html about a man who has no arms getting into a fight with another guy and head butting him, for some reason that is funny. I often read Fox News' web site. They have a section called something like "most read." They usually have interesting funny and weird stories there.
7. Disney
I have found myself talking a lot about Disney lately. I think it is really quite amazing that people get so upset when they find out I hate Disney and especially Disneyland. There reaction is something akin to if I they found out I worshipped the devil. I don't by the way, but when people find out I don't like Disney they assume I do. I actually do have a reason for not liking it. I'm not just trying to be controversial. My major problem is their slogan "happiest place on earth." My objection to that is the place they have created, which is a false reality, they sell to us as authentic. Worse than that is that we buy it. People are lining up to buy a false ideal. It is not the happiest place on earth. It is a great a spacious place with lots of people laughing though. Hmm? Something about calling evil good and good evil. I don't know exactly. Anyway, I don't like it. Never have been there. Never will go there.
So that's my seven.
3 comments:
You and Josh have the same 20 year plan. He wants a Harley SO BAD. I already promised him he could have one. Then, he is going to get a Dodge Viper.
Very interesting posts. I usually leave stupid funny comments but here is an intalekshuwal comment.
1. never thought of official lists and how many are created without thinking about it. My favorites are things i don't really think about, they just pop into mind.
2. I found a couple grammar mistakes on your post. I sadly read only the scriptures and car magazines or adventure/travel magazines. i also read blogs.
3. Funny thing is that the husband is usually the one begging for a motorcycle. Yes you should own one for awhile but just for the experience and stories and then get rid of it. Let me set you up with a great life insurance policy beforehand. Corvettes are the best value for the horsepower of almost any car. However the reality of spending 50,000 dollars for a car is not wholesome. you could get a vw bug for much less and they are almost as fast.
4. Mob boss would be cool but then you have to talk in a low grandpa voice all of the time
5. Very philosophical, you are. There was a few months where i kept getting TIME magazine by accident and i never took the time to read them. I just through the magazines away every month. I guess you could say i wasted time.
6. You should always find people suffering amusing. This keeps stress down and laughing at ourself being stupid or suffering is the most important. One time i was skateboarding and crashed really hard. I broke my arm to the point where a little piece of my bone was poking through the skin. I just had to laugh
7. i see your point but it is not a valid logic without ever experiencing it for yourself. i have been but not knowing that the slogan is the happiest place on earth. I just went because it was a vacation spot. However, when i was 12 and when I was 23, i seriously had the best time ever. There is something weird about the place that makes you feel good. there has been many articles and studies to show this but it can't be pinpointed. we tested one of the studies and spilled a half eaten bag of popcorn in the middle of a busy walkway in disneyland. 4 cleaning up people magically appeared to clean it up in less than 20 seconds. unbelievable. cleanliness is happiness?
i dont have a good argument nor am i opposed to your view but everyone finds happiness in different ways (whether its a log ride, splash mountain, or pirates of Caribbean). I remember sitting with my brand new wife at disneyland eating a mickey mouse shaped pancake and thinking, this is the happiest place on earth. of course i could have mistaken the feeling with the fact that i had been married for only 2 days and started the hippidy dippidy for the first time.
Very eery how the things you used to react to by saying, "Dad, you're wierd!" have become part of you... Since my visit to Disneyland in 1957, I have been a vocal opponent of that place, although not so much opposed to the cartoon shows. Walt Disney himself is a pretty sinister guy in many respects when you look at his biography and hear from those who worked for him. Ok, I'll get off that..
Your dream occupations have evolved, however, from auctioneer/truck driver, which is admirable. Mob boss has a much higher degree of complexity, scope of contact, and level of authority. Might not look so good on a resume, though...
Sorry you have gotten sucked into the Harley craze. Highly overrated, overpriced, and underdesigned bikes. My friend Trent only gets 20mpg with his loud, obnoxious, and ugly looking hog! When I grow up I want to get a bike, too, but not one of those. Give one of the classic BMW's or Triumphs any day. Even a Yamaha or Kawasaki would be great. Just not a danged Harley. Oh, and one of my fellow veterinarians who gave me the most grief over the years was named Harley...
So now that I have critiqued your list...which is probably the reason why you detest posting lists...let me say I admire your wit and uniquely Ammon slant on life!
Dad
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